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I have kind of stalled out on writing for this blog. I was excited about the challenges every week and had a format and an outline for the entire year. But I can’t seem to get the blog to pour out of me like it used to. To top that off I have had an idea that I haven’t focused on because I feel I should start with this blog. So I am going to let myself off the hook. I am going to stop trying to write. I really want to be serious about my writing but I need to choose when I am writing where my priorities lie.

So I am sad to say because I love doing this, but I am stopping this blog for a while.

Breaking Thresholds

I broke 40,000 words today. That’s crazy! I didn’t think I would be able to do this and now I am simply 10,000 words from accomplishing my goal! I am way too close to my ending than I should be at 10,000 words out, but I don’t care. I see the finish line and I am sprinting towards it.

This journey has been fantastic. It has done several things for me. But before I list those I do have to say that my story is not worth reading, nor is it worth editing and thinking about publishing. I share that because the things that I gained from Nano were not anything like what I expected. I expected to maybe finally get a story out of me. This is a story alright but its not like this is a story worth taking to the next step.

But I have fallen in love with a few of my characters. Certain ones I could write all day. If they were real people I would be worried that they would think that I was a crazy stalker because I would want to be best friends with them.

The other thing Nano has done for me is to give me the realization that I do have a writer in me. I had never been sure if I could do this after all but there have been scenes and stories and dialog that came out of me that I never knew was there! And I outlined!

Finally Nano has done what Nano claims to do, it gave me a sense of accomplishment and achievement. I know that I am not finished yet, but even if I weren’t able to finish at this point I would know that I did win regardless because I have gained so much.

Thanks Nano!

Let’s Be Honest

Have you noticed this new thing with the youth of today? They will start a sentence with “Let’s be honest…” and it ends with a tidbit of truth. Sometimes it’s funny (after offering you the last cookie, “let’s be honest…I was going to eat it anyway”), sometimes it is an opening for friends to talk about something serious (“let’s be honest…that really hurt my feelings”), sometimes its just random (“Let’s be honest…ice cream is my favorite”). I like this trend. It is one of the few that I actually have consciously decided to participate in.

So, let’s be honest…there’s a write in tomorrow and I am terrified to go. This is so silly because my ML is really nice. The rest of the group I’m sure is a lot of fun as well. I have thought of quite a few reasons why I shouldn’t go (it is my day off and I really want to spend it in my pajamas and sleeping in…I need to clean tomorrow…ok ok maybe not quite a few reasons, but at least two). But honestly my story needs it. In my story my main character is doing Nano (don’t worry, her story is not about someone doing nano, I wasn’t going to get THAT mirror within a mirror within a mirror within a…) and she is about to attend a write in. And when I say about to I mean that I had to stop writing tonight because I haven’t been to a write in and that’s the next scene.

So I have to go tomorrow to a write in and write about my main character being at a write in (talk about mirror within a mirror). I tried to write it based on some descriptions my co-regional wrimos gave me, but I just can’t do it. So I have to go.

But I don’t want to.

But I do.

Oh let’s be honest, I haven’t a clue what I want.

Strong Starts With Hopes To Finish

Nano has begun. I am rather nervous about this because since I decided to do Nano some things have happened in my world that have made me wonder if I should even be attempting Nano. For those who follow me regularly you know that I had to quit doing the 31 Days of Humility due to some issues with my grandmother’s health.

As a side note things are still not settled with my grandmother. She is doing well but keeps having some issues that the doctors are trying to figure out.

If I couldn’t keep up a post that had no constraints on how long it needed to be how am I going to write 2000 words a day? I tend to set high goals for myself and then crash when the reality of life hits. Plus I have had in the past 48 hours two people tell me to be careful not to take on too much. Everything with my grandmother, I am leaving for El Salvador again in 24 days, and the business of the season as well as the business at work…all of this adds up to the fact that I should probably listen to their advice and try again next year.

But something in me doesn’t want to give up without even trying. So I am going to try but I will also do my very best to keep a realistic perspective and as soon as it begins to feel like something I have to do instead of want to do then I will back off and either let it go or just not plan to hit 50,000 words.

So I have begun. I wrote a good 2700 words already and am quickly realizing that this is going to be difficult. I thought I had a good story line to keep it going, as well as an outline, but according to my outline I need to write another 3300 words before I can move the story on to the next phase. That just might not happen. And one of my characters is already misbehaving. She is supposed to be the bad guy but she keeps ducking out of the story every chance she gets. Its rather annoying. She is leaving my main character stranded out there all by herself.

I am also breaking all the writing rules. Over the past several weeks I have been reading lots of tips and tricks on how to structure stories, how to create good plots, how to carry a story etc. Yup, all that has flown out the window and my character is her own worst enemy, I have no hook at all in my first 2700 words and the only conflict that I have created is internal. My character is drowning in self doubt and its spilling over into my world. How can I keep the conflict without making my plot disappear?

So, I may get to 4000 words and realize this is just a no go. We will take it one day at a time. Meanwhile, I must sleep.

Goodnight fellow wrimos. As for the rest of you, see you in December…or maybe next week. Who knows. Anything can happen in Nano November.

Writing Woes…

I do believe I am tapping my resources dry. I have been writing so much since I began this blog and this month has increased my writing output by a lot! With writing daily for 31 Days of Humility, as well as my normal weekly Proverbs 31 posts, getting ahead for those weekly posts so that while I am in El Salvador I will still have stuff going up, as well as my Prep for Nanowrimo my brain is starting to run dry.

I know partly I just need to get through this season. After November I will go back to simply the basics of this blog, the Proverbs 31 stuff and writing when I feel like it elsewhere and the creativity might come back.

Don’t get me wrong. I have really been enjoying myself. I love the amount of writing I am doing and I do believe it is helping prepare me for Nanowrimo, but I am also looking forward to a little bit of a break at the end.

So this is my whole rambly post to say that I miss writing rambly posts and I will write more rambly posts in a couple of months.

If I use the word rambly enough times in this post will it become a word? Because it really ought to be.

Do True Pantsers Exist?

As I prepare for NaNoWriMo I have been browsing their blogs and trying to learn as much as I can. I have also downloaded an app called Novel Idea to help me get some of my thoughts down.

As a naturally unorganized person I would be more likely to be called a Pantser. Someone who flies by the seat of her pants. As opposed to a planner, someone who outlines and prepares before writing. I am actually more in between. I tend to write things down so I don’t forget, scenes, ideas, character sketches. But I started wondering if a true Pantser exists? Does anyone out there truly sit down without a clue as to what they are going to write and write it? Now obviously I am not saying that this isn’t a first draft, but to sit down and write a whole novel, or even a short story, without any prep sounds like the ultimate of brainstorming sessions to me.

So tell me, can a true Pantser exist? Or are we all an amalgamation of planning and chaos?

Why Bunny? Why?

I am fairly new to the blogging world, and fairly new to the writing world, and therefore I was completely lost when I began to hear people referring to a bunny in the middle of a post about writing. Bunny? Did I miss something? I would reread the previous sentence, scan the entire post again…Oh well…I don’t understand…and go on.

Then it happened again.

And again.

I have discovered that a muse bunny has something to do with an idea. I haven’t figured out if it is a distract or if it is a good thing to have a muse bunny, but regardless it has something to do with muse.

So I researched it. I did a search for muse bunny wiki to see what wikipedia would have to say and came back with the Bunny Museum wiki page. Interesting. But not helpful. But serious, a whole museum about rabbits?

Moving along.

Then I saw quite a few links for something called the hot pink bunny. Nervously I clicked one (fearing some sort of playboy type page) and (phewph!) got a site about some sort of hot pink bunny that was used to distract from the cat and dog debates.

Seriously, have I fell down a rabbit hole here because this is all making less and less sense.

So I have come to the conclusion that to sound like a proper writer I need to sound a little crazy, eccentric, insane.

Which is perfect because I had that down long before I had developed my writing skills.

31 Days

I am sorry I am late! I just found out about this 31 Days challenge. I am very excited about it! I have decided to take the challenge and use the next 31 days (counting today as the 1st of October) to focus on humility. I know this sounds like a strange topic but I have been struggling with the thought of what it means to humble yourself and I want to explore this.

So for today’s first exploration I did realize something, when we are thankful to God for something it reminds us of what we are not able to do that He did or something that He didn’t do that He we deserved (mercy). So being thankful is a good way to start a journey of humility.

Today I am very grateful and thanking God for the precious time of worship with my friend. It was sweet and I so needed to hear the lyrics to the songs.

Dear Blog

My Dear Blog,
You have invaded all my thoughts and every minute of my life. The moments we share are so precious to me. Every morning begins when I wake up trying to think of something witty to tell you to make you laugh. In the afternoon I have lunch with a friend and I, in the back of my mind, am thinking of how I will tell you about the conversation we had. In the evening I have an idea for a sweet story that will warm your heart. Oh blog I have tried to write other blogs but you are my one true blog. You are the only blog for me. I knew the moment I hit “create blog” and saw your beautiful being come into existence. It has been confirmed by 9 others that we are a wonderful pair. These 9 who choose to continue to watch our relationship flourish and grow. I love you blog. Don’t ever leave me.

A Haiku Title, I Hope Will Catch Your Eye And, You’ll Read This Poem

I feel like writing
But I’m not a good poet
Other than haikus

I should be in bed
But my creativity
Is keeping me up

I have noticed that
My writing is worse at night
So then why do it?

I do it because
Otherwise I would
Be awake all night

As it is I am
Overly tired tonight
So sleep now, sweet dreams

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