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31 Days minus a few

I have to admit I cannot keep this up. Which I guess is an act of humility in and of itself. With everything happening in my life right now for me to try to keep up the 31 days project is just not going to work. I will have to cut it short.

Day 21

My humility lesson of the day is also my biggest relief of the day. Family is home to help with grandma. That’s a relief. Now for the humble part. They can take care of her. Quit worrying.

By the way, my family is perfectly capable. I am aware of that. I am struggling to remember that. Hence, humility. It doesn’t have to be me. Haha.

Ok this is a lousily written post. I am exhausted.

Day 20

Humility. Does it make sense that sometimes someone being grateful for what you have done is humbling? I don’t know how to explain other than I feel I could do a better job and I feel like anyone would have done the same.

I am sorry I don’t have much today. My brain is tired.

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Day 19

Today’s humbling experience was realizing what it is to the be family member asking the church to come visit. Funny as I have often wondered why people hesitate so much to call the church or to ask for prayer. I have never had to be the one to ask though. Normally we have family around. When something is happening and I forget to put it on the prayer chain its not a huge deal because my family is large and we are our own prayer chain just because of our size. I don’t need to ask for visitation because my family support is around and we are good. But this time everyone was gone. It wasn’t serious enough to ask my brother or cousins to come out. My parents and aunt and uncle were in another country and so it was just me and grandpa. And I needed the support.

Its hard to ask for help. Especially when its just emotional help. I needed the support today and because it wasn’t a physical or terribly serious issue, more just me running out verve to keep being the strong one, it was very humbling to admit that I needed the help.

But I didn’t even have to ask. I did ask but I wouldn’t have needed to. My Pastor already planned on coming. My brother offered. My cousin offered. It helped so much knowing everyone was willing.

I am not exactly sure why I ran out of steam today. But I am glad I did. I understand a bit more about why some people struggle to ask for a visitation from someone from the church, or why others won’t call and put things on the prayer chain. It seems so silly not to when its not your own situation, but when it is your situation it seems too silly to worry about.

At least in God’s eyes its all important right?

PS My grandmother is doing well.

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Day 18

My dear readers, today was a long day of trying to get caught up at work and ending at being back at the hospital with my grandmother. She is doing well but they want to keep her another night and run more tests tomorrow because she seems to be reacting to the pain medications.

But in the midst of all of that I had a test today. I had a moment where I could have immediately reacted as usual and been overly opinionated. I would have ended up offending someone wrongly. Turns out I responded well, took a deep breath, waited a moment, and found out my first reaction would have been to the wrong information.

Perhaps posting about a moment of humility nullifies the humbleness? Funny thought. Regardless I am glad that I am seeing growth.

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Day 16

I have a question for today’s post, a simple question that I think might be linked to pride and humility.

How do I stop being opinionated?

I have a feeling pride is involved here but don’t exactly know how. I am tired of getting so worked up over minor things. How do I stop caring so much about dumb issues?

Any suggestions?

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Day 15

I want to read this book:

Embracing Obscurity

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Day 14

Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”* says the Lord.
Romans 12:9-19

As my pastor read the above verses this morning I realized something about myself. Well I already knew this but I thought about it in light of humility. I am a very public figure in my church due to my position on staff as well as my volunteerism. Meaning, I am at nearly every function for one reason or another. So due to that fact I am very visible. Which can often feed my ego when it shouldn’t. I also tend to be like a peacock when I am nervous or wanting to impress others. I get louder and more visible. It’s one of those qualities about myself that I dislike very much. I want to be someone who serves quietly. Serving God. Granted I have to be visible based on my position but that doesn’t mean I have to have an attitude of being visible. I want people to not notice me. I want to serve quietly in humility for Gods eyes only.

I will be working towards this. Praying for God to help me be more aware when I am visible for the wrong reasons or getting too puffed up over my positionings.

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Day 12

Today’s lesson in humility is a reminder to myself to rely on God and not myself. I learned this lesson the hard way so many times that I could share story after story illustrating what I am about to share. Here’s the lesson in a nutshell…when I do things that I am good at I tend to rely on myself. I don’t realize I am doing it, I simply do what I am good at. And I fall flat. I might not fail miserably every time but every time there is always the one thing that will happen that will cause me to feel like I failed miserably. But, when the opposite happens, when I do things that I am not good at I am driven to my knees to beg God to help me. Those always go much better than expected. Why? Because my pride is gone and my humility is in play. What I need to do is twofold, one to remember that even the things I am good at are only there because of God’s grace, and two, when I do have those moments of feeling failure to thank God for the lesson in humility and rely on Him.

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Day 11

I went the entire day yesterday with my post being titled “day 9” and no one noticed. That made me laugh.

She said to Him, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom.” But Jesus answered and said, “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” They said to Him, “We are able.” So He said to them, “You will indeed drink My cup, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with;* but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but it is for those for whom it is prepared by My Father.” And when the ten heard it, they were greatly displeased with the two brothers. But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave – just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
Matthew 20:20-28

I want to put forth a challenge to myself today. Anyone who would like to take this challenge with me feel free. Today I want to seek out acts of service. But I want to do them in a way that promotes humility so I will be doing those acts of service that only God sees. I might clean that cup, pick up that trash, maybe clean up the bathroom. I am not sure what it will be but today that is my goal. Now the ironic part is that if I told how it went tomorrow that would be counter productive.

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